Artie in Amsterdam

Artie just announced that he is going to Amsterdam in April for Jason Kaplan’s bachelor party. Artie was excited to go to Amsterdam because drugs and prostitutes are legal there. During his heroin days, his dealer told him that the heroin in Amsterdam was amazing and that he’s gotta try it. Artie admitted that despite being on Subutex, he still has the ability to do heroin for one night only. This statement lead Howard to ask if Artie was still on Subutex, which he admitted he was but also said that he could forget to take the Subutex that day. Everyone tried to talk Artie out of doing heroin and stick to weed but Artie said that he’s not a weed guy. He said that the worst drug experience he ever had was from laced chronic that he smoked in LA. Artie’s main reason to go to Amsterdam is to bang whores and celebrate Jason’s bachelor party.
During the wrap up show, Jason said that all the guys that are going are gonna see the Black Crows the night they get there and Artie said that he will be doing black tar heroin that night.

Lumbering Lange takes a hit in Page Six

In today’s Page Six of the New York Post, Artie is bashed because he tells the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to stop by the show. The Post’s Dan Mangan says that if the cowgirls were to appear on the Stern show they surely would have been asked to kiss each other and disrobe.

Click here to read the article in Page Six.

Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone

Penthouse Pets Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone were in-studio today.
The girls talked about their experiences in Penthouse, sexual relationships and even rode the Sibian.

Here’s a link to their myspace pages: Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone.

Kendra calls in!

Eric’s girlfriend Kendra and his best friend Johnny Frato both called in today to talk about their relationship.
Howard got Kendra to admit that she wasn’t dating Eric, she wasn’t in love with Eric and that she wasn’t sexually attracted to Eric. Trying to get Kendra to admit when she will meet Eric was like pulling teeth. Kendra explained that they were “friends” and could possibly become more than that. Johnny Frato kept on bringing up Vern Troyer for some reason and everyone agreed that Eric the Midget is no Vern Troyer. They all made a bet that Kendra wouldn’t be meeting Eric, but they scrapped the bet because Kendra could control the bet. Kendra dropped off the call, and Eric got back on. The tiny little freak’s head almost exploded because he wouldn’t admit defeat. Eric also wouldn’t admit that he was wrong about Kendra not being on the show.
I love the fact that this chick was on the show and Howard won.
The best part of the segment was Fred playing Loser by Beck.

Click here to go to www.kendrassecret.com.
Click here to check out my last post about Kendra.

Artie’s gambling stories

Artie was talking about his recent lucky streak while betting on the Giants. He claims that he’s up so much that if he let’s his winnings ride on the Super Bowl, he’ll be able to buy a boat. Even if he bets 25k and the Giants don’t cover, after the vig he’s still up 20k.
Artie also told us that he used to have a bookie on Staten Island who was so paranoid that he gave all the bettors code names. Artie’s codename was Mozzarella for 37. Then the bookie became even more paranoid and gave all the bettors womens names. Artie’s woman’s name was Michelle for 36. Artie’s latest codename with his newest bookie is supersod.
Howard asked Artie what his father would think of Artie’s gambling if he were alive and Artie said that his father would punch him in his face, than yelled out “but fuck ’em!”

Artie Lange in Maxim Magazine

Artie Lange is going to be featured in February’s issue of Maxim Magazine.
Artie is interviewed for Maxim’s Valentines Day Guide. In the issue, Artie says that getting engaged on Valentines Day is a pathetic cliche. This comment annoyed Howard because Howard proposed to Beth on Valentines Day. Howard felt that it was a shot at him but Artie brushed it off like it was no big deal.
When the magazine hits the newsstands, I will publish it right here.

BREAKING NEWS

In a Howard 100 Breaking News report, NYPD has announced actor Heath Ledger is dead from an apparent drug overdose. Click here to read the full article from the NY Post or here to read the article from TMZ.com.

I just can’t quit you!

Artie humps the bed

During his stay at the Turning Stone Casino in Syracuse this weekend, Artie pulled an Eric the Midget. Artie told Howard that Lauren, the event coordinator at the hotel, was so hot that he had to masterbate to her. But instead of doing it the old-fashioned way, Artie humped the bed.
Howard was amazed at this story and asked Artie where he finished and Artie said on the sheets. Howard also asked if doing this irritated Artie’s penis and he said no, thankfully the sheets were very soft. Howard also got Artie to reveal that he has done this before in the bed at a W Hotel.
Why didn’t Artie just pay to have sex with this girl you ask??
Super-ASSistant Teddy got the scoop on Lauren and it turns out she’s engaged.
This chick must be really hot to make Artie hump the bed and make out with a pillow!

Artie’s Revelation

During today’s show, which was a re-broadcast from Martin Luther King Day, 2006, Artie made the revelation that he had a load shot on his chest. Here’s a recap of the story:

While Artie was on MadTV, his Rasta friend /coke-dealer invited him to a party in the Valley in LA. The party was at some porn-producers house and when he got there, there was porn on the big screen tv’s, loud techno music, porn-stars walking around naked and a smorgasbord of coke and extasy. Artie decided to do a few lines, tequila and extasy than started to get annoyed that nobody was talking to him so he had someone put MadTV on the big screens. After the girls at the party noticed that the guy on the tv was at the party, three girls came up to him. One smokin hot chick who was a solid LA 9 started touching him and kissing him and grabbing his dick. Artie wanted to go into a room with her but she made Artie stop at the buffet table to do a few more lines. When Artie went into the room, their were couples fucking everywhere. Artie and this girl sat down on a couch and she tried to take off his shirt but she wouldn’t allow her to do that, so she unzipped his pants and started to blow him. The couple sitting next to Artie was a big Hispanic guy and a girl who wasn’t hot. The Hispanic guy started to stare at the girl who was blowing Artie and then got up and whispered something in her ear. The next thing he knows, the ugly chick is on top of Artie making out with him and the hot chick is still blowing him. The Hispanic guy gets behind her and starts smacking her ass then he pulls down his pants and starts to bang her. This starts to creep Artie out so and he tries to push the girls off of him but the hot chick that was blowing him wouldn’t let Artie up. All of a sudden, the Hispanic guys pulls his dick out and starts jerking off, and shoots his load all over the girls back. This causes Artie to flip out and start cursing at the guy. The Hispanic guy than sits down, lights a cigarette and says to Artie “go back to the suburbs.” In a goodfellas-type move, Artie tells the guy to stay there because he was going to his car to get his gun. Instead of going to his car (because he didn’t have a gun) he went to a bathroom to rinse his face with cold water, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw a drop of cum on his sweatshirt. Artie than ran into the yard, tried to rinse it off with a garden hose than decided to throw the sweatshirt in the garbage. When Artie went back into the house, the Rasta asks him if he threatened someone with a gun. The Rasta told Artie that there were guns in the house and that he better get the fuck out of there right now. Artie than drove himself to the hospital, where he decided to sleep in the car instead of admit himself.

Artie Lange at the Turning Stone Casino

If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet than it’s too late.
Artie sold out the Showroom at the Turning Stone Casino for both the 7:00 & 10:00 shows tonight.